Bad Attempted Humor
by flamed one
Summary: The HP characters land in my house. WARNINGS!HORRIBLE ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR,and VERY OOC! Do NOT flame.Don't even bother reading it because i submitted it and everyone hated it.


BEFORE REVIEWING, READ THIS!

Well here we are, with my meant-to-be-funny story that won't end up being funny, I'm sure of that! Since people have told me I'm not good at writing romance things. I'm writing this which I know will just get tons of flames.

It's meant, if anything, to be just a stupid little thing that I wanted to get out of my brain.

0o0o0o

"You are such a stupid person, Rhiana!"

I was talking on the phone to my friend, Alexa. One time, we went to the grocery store and someone thought we were twins; that was creepy, I'm telling you! Anywho, I was talking to her on the phone and then I brought up the Midnight Magic Party at Border's, to celebrate the opening of Half-Blood Prince. And as soon as I asked her if she wanted to go, she said, "Maybe."

And so then I said, "I'm going to dress up in my overly too small for me Hermione cloak that I got almost three years ago!" and that's where the story begins.

"Who the heck cares if it's too small?" I said.

"I care! I will not go into Border's if you look like a dweeb wearing small clothes!" Alexa said back.

"Um.you sound like Alana." Alana is the freakishly preppy person at our elementary school who dumped her boyfriend for someone older.

And she got held back about three years!

"AHHHHHHH!" Alexa screamed. I plugged my ears, because she screams really, really, really, REALLY loud. When she was done, I said, "Too bad. Just get your butt over to my house at 7 so we can go eat dinner and then come back and then go to the party and then come back and go to sleep!"

"Okey doke," Alexa said and hung up. Then I hung up as well and went back to reviewing stories on fan fiction. Naturally, my brother's weirdo friends just HAD to come over at that minute and make my dog, Ryder, go crazy.Ryder said/whined, "Arooooooooowoooooooohooooooo!" and then to make him shut up I put a bone in his mouth. One of Scott's, my brother, friends, Tommy, was screaming like a girl and jumping around. He knocked The Order of the Phoenix off the table and I started screaming. "NO! You stupid person! OotP deserves to LIVE! That copy was just sent through the mail from North Carolina! Don't damage its SOUL!"

All the boys looked at me like I was crazy. Then they laughed and went into the study (study, computer room, whatever.) and they got out the PS2 controllers and situated themselves so that I couldn't get to the chair. I don't have my own computer, so I share with my dad and sometimes mom and brother. I took a flying leap over them and landed on Joel. "Oomph!" he shouted.

I got up and jumped into the chair. I screamed as my brother pulled the lever on the chair and it sank down to the ground. I took out sporky my Spork and whapped him on the head with it. When I was satisfied that he wouldn't be annoying me for a while, I grinned dorkily and then moved the mouse so my screensaver would stop. My desktop popped into view to reveal a few icons and a background of a chunk of cheese. I took the picture myself, aren't you so proud of me?

I checked my e-mail. It consisted of 24 chain letters, 10 flames, and of course the usual 45 e-mails from my friends, like Mia, Cameron, Maggie, Ali, and of course queen of the creepy, Alexa. I immediately logged on to and looked at the heading:

"Welcome, Rhiana, your wand is yew, unicorn hair, 11 inches." I giggled like a giddy dolphin and then went to games. I played beater practice for 3 hours before the doorbell rang.

"YARR!" I shouted as I opened the door and saw...

The mailman! "Oops," I said and took the mail.

Later, the doorbell rang again and I opened the door to see...Alexa! "YARR!" I shouted. "POKE!" she said. I poked her and we ran into my room. When we got into my room, I screamed loudly and then took out my Spork, because inside my room was...

0o0o0o0o

Well, that's the first chapter. Before flaming me, please take note of the fact that I know I'm not funny, I know that I'm a horrible writer, I know the plot is unoriginal, and I know that I should try to write something else. And I know that if I decide to listen to all the flames I'll get, and write a different story, that the same people that flamed this will hunt me down and flame my other story! So now that's cleared up, please point out anything I can improve and please point out nice stuff about this. Like how creepy Alexais.


End file.
